Freya Eostre

How to use Affirmations

An excerpt from Manifesting Mr Wonderful by Freya Eostre © 2008

What is an affirmation?

An affirmation is a short phrase which ‘affirms’ something for you.

♥ Affirmations affect your subconscious thoughts and feelings and will also act like a ‘prayer’ because the message is an energy vibration that reverberates into the Universe.

We are constantly giving ourselves ‘messages’ about our beliefs. These internal messages have a huge energetic impact, especially if there are strong feelings attached to them. If we give ourselves negative

messages, whether said out-loud or in our head, we vibrate negatively. Therefore, how we ‘self talk’ has a profound impact on the quality of our life and our experiences. If we are prone to negative ‘self talk’ we can gradually change by using positive affirmations. It is because affirmations are so effective at raising your vibration (by changing the way you think and feel) that they form an integral part in the practice.

You can also use affirmations to attract what you want into your life. What you say will come true if you feel it strongly enough. Our self-talk has a strong energetic vibration because we are co-creators, so our messages will be energetically attracting things to us, for good or ill. Everything is energy; like attracts like; thoughts and emotions are powerful energy vibrations. So if we say what we want and keep affirming it with strong emotions then what we want will naturally be attracted to us. You can literally will something into being by thinking about it because your thoughts and the feelings attached to them are energy vibrations which attract manifestations.

♥ When you use affirmations you are telling the Universe what you expect and so it will be manifested.

Creating effective affirmations

Affirmations are relatively easy to create but there is an art to making them effective. When you use an affirmation you are saying ‘yes please’ to the Universe, therefore it is important to make sure that you

are saying ‘yes please’ to what you really want. The most effective affirmations are positive, clear, have a strong emotional resonance with you and are worded in the present tense:

• To attract positively, we must send out positive energy so it is vital that you are asking for what you do want rather than what you don’t want and that you ask it in a positive manner. Affirmations should

be stated in the positive; ‘I want a loving man’ instead of ‘I want a man who isn’t a womaniser or a cheat’. Also, make sure there aren’t any subtle negative feelings hidden in what you say; ‘I want a man

who will get around to asking me out’ should read something like ‘I am ready to be asked out’. The first affirmation sounds like you don’t expect to be asked out, the second sounds like you believe

being asked out is a given, now that you are ready.

• An affirmation needs to be clear and simple so that the Universe knows exactly what you are asking for. Try and keep it short and precise: ‘I am ready for love’ or ‘I invite Mr Wonderful into my life’

rather than ‘I have an open heart so I can attract and receive a loving, caring, sexy man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me and give me children’. In trying to keep it precise I came up with the

name ‘Mr Wonderful’ because to me the term means a man who can fulfill my desires. It is a term which encapsulates what I want. You can come up with a different name or way to convey what you want but keep it simple rather than writing a long wordy affirmation.

• If an affirmation has little emotional resonance for you then it will not be as powerful because your feelings have the biggest impact on the energy vibrations you send out. This means if you use other

people’s affirmations – make sure they really speak to you. You can make adjustments to someone else’s affirmations if you would prefer not to start from scratch. I would suggest, however, that you

try to come up with something for yourself. An affirmation you have come up with is more likely to have emotional resonance and the process of finding a good affirmation will further help you clarify

what you want. Also, when you come up with a good one it is exciting, which will add emotional potency to your affirmation.

• Affirmations need to be worded in the present. Ultimately tomorrow never comes, so stating affirmations in the future tense instantly puts them out of reach. State your affirmation as if it is already true by wording it in the present tense. The Universe will then work to bring it to you today. The more you ‘act as if’ you already have what you want, that you are where you want to be, the more powerful your manifesting energy will be. You are not requesting it, you are stating that ‘it is already so’. Not only does this demonstrate incredible faith and self belief (which creates a positivity that is hard to beat) but the Universe has to bring into being what is: By stating ‘what is’ before it exists, you create a vacuum which the Universe must fill.

• Although you can word your affirmations as desires or wants, I believe that it is more powerful to show that you expect to receive something rather than you are hoping it will arrive. The words ‘I

want’ have negative connotations for many of us which can get in the way of manifesting. Many people, especially in Britain, grew up hearing things like ‘I want doesn’t get’ and were told not to say ‘I

want’ when they asked for something. Apparently stating what you want is seen as selfish and/or rude. Perhaps more importantly, in terms of affirmations, ‘wanting’ is what we do when we haven’t yet

got something. For some of us it can have a connotation of feeling ‘desperate’. For the purpose of affirmations we want to create the ‘already got it’ vacuum to encourage the Universe to deliver. ‘I

attract…’ or ‘I am ready…’ or ‘I receive…’ or ‘I invite…’ or even, if you are feeling really daring ‘I have…’ or ‘I enjoy…’ (because I already have) are further down the process from wanting and closer

to the experiencing. However, if you usually feel guilty for ‘wanting’ it can also be really affirming to unashamedly state your wants to the world! (Use ‘I want’ or ‘I desire’ for your wish list.) Be

proud of your desires – without them you couldn’t be a co-creator.

To create an affirmation, try to summarise what it is you want. You can go back to your wish list or dream scenario and try to make the picture into a concise statement – almost like a mission statement that will help to focus yourself and the Universe. Play with ideas and allow yourself to be creative.

If you feel you have to go through a few phases to become ready to get what you ultimately want then begin with affirmations that reflect where you need to get to first. For example, if you feel you need to

work on being able to receive positive attention from men then start with that; ‘I am open to positive male attention’ or ‘I enjoy receiving positive male attention’. It is not useful to go for your ultimate goal until you feel ready in yourself because it will be harder to believe in what you are saying and therefore more challenging to feel positive.

Build your relationship confidence gradually starting with the first step not the final destination.

Using affirmations Once you have had a go at developing some affirmations you need to actually use them. While it is valuable to go through the process of creating affirmations – if you don’t get around to using them, they won’t work. An affirmation is different from a wish list. When you create a wish list you say it to the Universe and then let it go. Affirmations, on the other hand, have to be repeated because they are used for aligning your internal vibration with what you are trying to create. You have to ‘work them’ so that they sink into your deeper self and have the chance to transform your emotional energetic vibration.

♥ Affirmations are about changing how you feel inside and aligning your energy with what you want to manifest.

If you know on a deep level that you deserve love and state that you are already enjoying a loving relationship, then the Universe has no choice but to deliver it to you in order to fill the vacuum. To make this shift you have to repeat affirmations regularly. You are self-talking all day long so you need to get a conscious word in edge ways. If you don’t say it regularly then your message will simply get lost in all the other inner babble.

♥ The key to using affirmations is to repeat them regularly.

• Whenever you say an affirmation, repeat it several times

• Say it out-loud and/or in front of a mirror for added potency

• Write your affirmations down

• Post them around your home as reminders

• Only work with one (or two) affirmations at a time

• Work with each affirmation for at least one week

• Repeat your affirmation several times during the day

• Having a routine can help you remember to say your affirmations

• You can use an alarm to remind you the next time to repeat them

• Say it whenever you remember during the day – even if you only have time to say it once or twice

• For maximum benefit first connect with Source, then say your affirmation from this powerful feeling state

If you find it hard to feel anything about an affirmation it is worth playing around with it until it sounds just right to you. Sometimes when we have a wall of negativity or doubt standing between us and what we want it can be hard to get excited about an affirmation. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t worry – just ‘act as if’ you believe in it for the time being. This will give you a chance to get started and the messages will get through – though they may take a little longer. Here are some affirmations you can use and/or adapt:

♥ ‘I enjoy a loving relationship with Mr Wonderful’

♥ ‘I attract a wonderful man into my life’

♥ ‘I am open to receiving love’

♥ ‘I am a beacon of light guiding my beloved home’

♥ ‘I invite Mr Wonderful to ask me out’

♥ ‘I experience the joy of being truly loved’

♥ ‘I experience the bliss of being united with my soulmate’

While you are traveling on this journey if you stumble across an inner block or negative belief that is hard to shift, use affirmations. You can add new ones to your (daily) practice that are pertinent to you.

Affirmations work when you work them!

Freya’s Astro Advice

An intuitive reading for each sign of the zodiac…

July 2010

ARIES

5 Swords, Garnet, Choice

This month you are faced with a choice. You can either push ahead with something that you really want to work or you can choose to accept things the way things are and let it go. To decide what is best, put all urgent feelings aside. Once you are feeling calm and centred ask yourself do you really want this? If you have any doubts at all, then it is time to it let go. No doubts? Then stick at it!

TAURUS

Temperance, Jasper, Openness

You are faced with a new situation or emotional state and although you are keen to get involved you are also feeling a little cautious. You can create a balanced approach by remaining open to new experiences while keeping your feet planted firmly on the earth. If you do start to wobble you can ground yourself by going for a walk or gardening. Go ahead and dip your toe in the water!

GEMINI

9 Vesicas, Moonstone, Simplicity

Letting go of old habits or emotional patterns continues to be the theme this month. Lasting change isn’t achieved overnight, you have to nurture the inner garden over time a period of time. It is important that you are patient with yourself while you go through this process and that you take steps to simplify things: Take care of your basic needs for sleep, healthy eating and relaxation.

CANCER

Maid of Cups, Pietersite, Direction

You are well aware that your ‘cup’ needs filling up. Maybe you have already made a decision about how to change things but Pietersite is asking you an important question: ‘Are things like to improve if you follow this path?’ The situation is actually a lot more fluid and likely to change than you realise. Keep decisions loose and take into account the possibility that things may shift over time.

LEO

8 Vesicas, Charoite, New Beginnings

You are starting to build a stronger inner foundation from which to live the exciting drama of your life. This foundation will enable you to begin a whole new chapter and to create the dream life you have always wanted. To make this foundation strong you need to be patient and put lots of work into it. Trust your instincts to guide you along the way and become open to the results you hope for.

VIRGO

6 Swords, Amazonite, Opposition

At the moment you are torn between trying to accept a certain situation and speaking your mind. The way you look at things counts for a lot and much can be altered by a change of perspective. Rather than suppressing what you think you want to say, maybe the answer is to detach from the situation and seek a new perspective on the situation that will enable you to experience acceptance.

LIBRA

3 Vesicas, Mookaite, Challenge

Things are feeling blocked around work, creativity, or a project. There is a challenge that is crossing your path and you are not sure how to deal with it. Typically indecision can be an issue for Librans as you seek harmony and a ‘stress free’ life. Rather than swinging from one extreme to the other in your mind, seek at least three possible options and go for the one that seems the most balanced.

SCORPIO

4 Cups, Turquoise, Change

You really want things to change. Your mind is opening to new ideas and you are becoming aware of a much bigger picture than you could see before. This wonderful ‘opening up’ process is long over due fills you with a renewed enthusiasm for life. To help you adjust to all these exciting changes it is important to reach out and ask for support from people you now know you can trust.

SAGGITARIUS

6 Cups, Fluorite, Letting Go

Either you or another person is digging their heals in. There is nothing wrong with decisiveness as such but in this instance it is either premature or perhaps based on a fearful reaction to something. Regardless of who is behaving this way, it is time to ‘let it go’ and invite to a Higher Power to sort things out. In the end the relationship is far more important to you than the stand that is being taken.

CAPRICORN

Maid of Swords, Aventurine, Stability

You are beginning to rebel against a situation you no longer find tenable. You take your duties very seriously so it takes a lot for you to snap, but this time enough really is enough. When you finally stand up for yourself by saying ‘no’ to someone or something you will be surprised to discover those pent up emotions are quickly released and you can re-establish some calm and stability in your life.

AQUARIUS

Ace of Vesicas, Smoky Quartz, Gentleness

You are creating a new foundation in your life. While you are doing this it is important to become discerning about who and what you allow into your space. Any negative influences, whether internal or external, must be gently extricated before they get a chance to take hold. When making decisions, start as you mean to continue and seek to create the correct environment for your growth.

PISCES

Ace of Staffs, Ruby, Commitment

Finally you have found a magic wand! Well, you have at least re-gained some much needed enthusiasm. Something has (or is about to) enter your life that you are going to want to put a lot of energy into. That will make a nice change won’t it!? You will know when it comes because of your excitement. Grab this opportunity with both hands, it will surely give back whatever you put in.

Psyche in the City – ‘What can we do to enable us to reach our goals?’

‘Ultimately all that really counts when striving to reach our goals is what we choose to believe about ourselves.’ Freya ♥

As we grow up we are often told that if we believe in ourselves enough, we can make any dream come true. Society’s liberating message has been amplified by a recent spate of ‘ordinary’ individuals being catapulted into instant fame and success through participation on TV reality shows. So, if it is really that easy, why do so many of us struggle to create the wonderful lives we feel entitled to?

Many people are negatively affected by personal circumstances at some point in their life – we can feel held back by poverty, education, gender, sexuality, childcare, the economy, illness or disability etc. Yet when you look around there will always be individuals who have somehow managed to overcome these obstacles and achieve their goals. For those of us who still struggle, this begs the question if they can do it then why can’t I?

If we look closely enough, we will often discover that the biggest obstacle to reaching our goals lies within. Internal barriers are far more effective at restricting us than even the most unfortunate circumstances. This is because we are usually completely unaware that the barrier is there, and even when we know about it, we are rarely taught how to overcome them. Circumstances often get all the blame simply because we don’t know how to identify or deal with the inner barriers that hold us back.

Once we decide to face any internal barriers head on, we become empowered to do something about our situation. While we can’t always change the circumstances around us, we usually can change what goes on in our heads. It’s not always easy, but it is definitely possible. Whatever your circumstances may be, if you are feeling stuck it is always worth taking a deeper look.

Goals are meant to stretch us, which is why we feel proud when we achieve what we have set out to do. If there was no challenge involved then it wouldn’t be a goal – you’d simply go out and do it without further ado. In order to meet the challenges that any worthy goal presents, we need a strong inner foundation. When we don’t have that foundation, we are more likely to stumble along the way and if we feel stuck we are much more likely to jump to the conclusion that the goal is out of our reach.

The motivation required to keep us going comes directly from two things – our self worth; (the belief that who we are and what we have to contribute is valuable) and our self confidence; (the belief that we have the skills required and the ability to handle things). Even when other people are raving about how wonderful they think we are, it is still possible to harbour a devastating sense of self doubt. If we are trying to convince ourselves that we ‘just need one more qualification’ or we compare ourselves harshly to some external standard, you can be sure that it is self doubt holding us back.

The belief that we are some how ‘not good enough’ stems from early conditioning. Thankfully, once we have reached adulthood, we have the power to change the script. No matter what people seem to think of us, ultimately all that really counts is what we choose to believe about ourselves. Should we discover we don’t think very much of ourselves or our abilities, then it is up to us to do something about it because no one else can change our mind for us.

Chronic self doubt is a deeply ingrained ‘mental habit’ that can be rectified by consciously changing the messages we feed our minds. Self worth and confidence are both extremely vulnerable to the messages or feelings we habitually indulge in. Our task is to take responsibility for these messages and to commit to replacing negative self talk with positive affirmations. To combat chronic self doubt we need to become conscious of all the negative beliefs that serve to undermine us. Then we can slowly start to replace each one with something that makes us feel good about ourselves.

The main difficulty arises when the habitual thought or feeling is so deeply ingrained that we just can’t accept that it isn’t based on ‘the truth’. The best thing to do in this situation is ask yourself if you want to believe in this negative thought or feeling or would you prefer to believe in something more life affirming? If we can at least accept that there is a possibility that our negativity doesn’t represent ‘the truth’, then we can get on with nurturing our brain with new messages that we do want to believe in.

How we view ourselves is always a choice, though for those who have been wounded in childhood it often doesn’t seem that way. As children we have no way of separating ourselves from external influences, so we take things on board without discrimination. It can take a huge leap of faith to believe that we can learn how to feel better about ourselves. Yet, if we take this leap of faith and keep practicing our new behaviours, one day we will wake up and discover the joys of unshakable self belief.

Freya ♥

If you would like support in transforming the way you view yourself and your capabilities, life coaching can be a very helpful tool. I offer telephone coaching for individuals committed to the journey of self discovery and personal development. Please email to arrange your free consultation and discover how transformational coaching could benefit you:

info@freyaeostre.com

Land-line number available for coaching sessions

Face-to-face coaching also available in Chard, Somerset

Prices: £160 for 4x 1hr sessions

Shamanic Journey Introduction

Introductory Session

(Kingsdown, Bristol)

Saturday 17th July 2010

11.30am – 1.30pm

£15 (non- refundable)

All places need to be booked and paid for in advance, There are limited spaces.

To book your place please email me: intro@freyaeostre.com

For further information please check the page; ‘Shamanic Journeys and Readings’.

Freya’s Astro Advice

JUNE 2010

An intuitive reading for each sign of the zodiac…

ARIES

10 Swords, Black Tourmaline, Gentleness

You have reached the end of the road with something that you may have been deeply involved in. You are positive person but something about this situation is beginning to feel decidedly negative or ‘wrong’ to you, and it is important to listen to your feelings. ‘Pushing ahead’ may be your usual way of dealing with things but in this instance you need to gently remove yourself from the situation.

TAURUS

The Star, Clear Quartz, Reflection

Things have felt a little chaotic or unsettled lately. This month you have the opportunity to regain a sense of hope and renewal, as long as that is what you strive for. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but to get there some personal effort will be required. You are being asked to take some time out for quiet reflection. Create a space for mental clarity and you will soon feel rejuvenated.

GEMINI

Knight of Vesicas, Moonstone, Spirit Guide

You are in a relatively stable place right now which means you are in a great position to make changes. It is time to review this years resolutions and goals and be honest with yourself about how you are getting on. You may well discover that it is time to break free from an entrenched emotional pattern that is holding you back. When you reach out, Spirit will give you all the support you need!

CANCER

2 Cups, Garnet, Water

Cancer, you are in the mood for some loving this month! There is the opportunity to combine ‘true love’ with passion and excitement. It is time to spice things up in the romantic department: If you are in a relationship then allow your partner to woo you or take the initiative and create a romantic surprise. Single? Get out there and show off your charms, you never know who you might meet!

LEO

Ace of Wands, Jasper, Stability

Your enthusiasm for life will return this month with a new project, activity or interest. This is just what you have been looking for, as being involved makes you feel more alive. However, you need to approach this in a more grounded, practical way. To grow tall branches you need strong roots, so make sure you conserve your energy and direct it towards creating a strong, reliable foundation.

VIRGO

3 Vesicas, Hematite, Fire

The focus of the next month is on work or creative projects. You are is an assessment phase and you may discover that some challenging adjustments need to be made somewhere along the line. Allow your passion to lead you to the right answers and be willing to stand behind your convictions. Once you have the solution be prepared to stick to your guns and/or cut through any barriers to progress.

LIBRA

9 Vesicas, Ruby, Creativity

You are in the middle of a process which is taking its time, as all good processes do. In order to facilitate this process, it is important that you look at how you’re spending your energy. You need to pace yourself and make sure you don’t burn out before it is time to ‘give birth’. Think of creative ways to get things done, while enabling you to maintain your energy levels ready for the big push.

SCORPIO

Queen of Staffs, Rhodochrosite, Challenge

Part of you is ready for pastures new and itching to ‘get going’. You know that there are better options for you and you feel an deep inner desire for some kind of change. Unfortunately your inner child has other ideas! You feel blocked because part of you doesn’t want to let go or face the uncertainty of new pastures. You are strong, but you also have a deep vulnerability that you rarely admit, even to yourself. Comfort your frightened inner child by acknowledging your deepest fears.

SAGGITARIUS

Knight of Swords, Tigers Eye, Gentleness

You have a clear goal and right now something is standing in the way of you attaining it. It may feel like a thick of brambles that need cutting down with determination and a sharp knife, but this is not the case. You are feeling angry, frustrated or possibly even scared and it is making you behave in a defensive manner. Relax Sagittarius! Take things one step at a time and look for the gentle solution.

CAPRICORN

Ace of Vesicas, Lapis Lazuli, Connection

You are currently focussed on creating some kind of foundation in your life, one which will enable you to feel more connected to your inner self and possibly to other people. This foundation relies on you developing your ability to listen to your inner voice and to act on it. If things are not yet clear, then trust that when the time is right, they will become so and you will know exactly what to do.

AQUARIUS

8 Vesicas, Citrine, Community

It is important that you continue to work at things and don’t be put off by the apparent lack of results. If you have a dream, then it takes time to actualise and you have to be patient, committed and persevering – all things you find difficult! What will really help keep you going is some comrades on the same path. Join a network or group of like-minded souls or start one yourself.

PISCES

Queen of Swords, Rhodonite, Love

You find yourself questioning whether someone loves you or not because their actions don’t match their words. You are prone to wanting to see the best in people and give others the benefit of any doubts you may have. You need to learn to stand up for yourself as no one else is going to do it for you. Remember the old saying ‘actions speak louder than words’? Protect your wounded heart.

Psyche in the City – ‘How can we deal with feelings?’

‘It takes remarkable courage to reveal your vulnerability to another human being.’ Freya ♥

Many of us struggle with not knowing how to handle feelings in both ourselves and others. We all have feelings, but it seems many of us grow up developing unhealthy strategies for dealing with them. Sometimes we find it hard to show we have feelings at all and other times they can flood over us in a scary and uncontrollable way. So,
how can we learn to deal with our feelings?

Most of us were taught in childhood that some or all of our feelings were unacceptable to those who cared for us. Sometimes this can be due to social or cultural conditioning (for example ‘boys don’t cry’) but it is just as likely to be because the adults themselves didn’t know how to handle their own feelings and were therefore unable to help the child learn to manage theirs.

When a parent doesn’t know how to deal with their feelings they will naturally find their child’s feelings difficult to handle. When the struggling parent (inevitably) rejects the child’s feelings, the child becomes fearful and ashamed: fearful because they don’t know what to do with their feelings and ashamed because they experience the parents’ rejection of their feelings as a rejection of themselves. The child becomes distressed and seeks to control their feelings in order to feel safe again. When a child is unable to maintain control they end up ‘acting out’ their feelings in unhealthy ways.

There are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ feelings, they are simply natural, instinctive emotional responses to a stimulus. When our feelings are not accepted by our care givers, we end up with a huge back log of unexpressed emotional energy inside of us. Unresolved feelings don’t evaporate, they are stored in the body until they can be released. (Many health problems are the result of suppressed feelings stored in the body.) When something or someone ‘pushes our buttons’, we may end up losing control and having an emotional reaction which at best appears illogical and at worst causes us to harm ourselves or others.

Unresolved feelings and unhealthy ‘acting out’ patterns developed in childhood are carried with us into adulthood. If we have children of our own, we will unwittingly pass the problem on, that is unless we become conscious of the problem within ourselves and seek to resolve it. We are only just beginning to recognise the true cost of this collective fear and shame of feelings to individuals and society as a whole. Fortunately more and more people are seeking help with processing childhood feelings and finding healthier strategies for managing difficult feelings in the present.

If you struggle with feelings, you are far from alone. Acknowledging this this is an essential first step on the road to recovery. It is also important to recognise that if you struggle with feelings; it is because you were never taught how to deal with them, not because there is something wrong with you. If you didn’t learn how to manage your feelings as a child, then your first task is to begin the process of befriending them today, especially the ones you are still carrying from childhood.

When we are children our parents are responsible for helping us manage feelings. Once you reach adulthood, the responsibility lies solely with you. If you are struggling and want to develop healthier relationships with yourself and/or others then it is essential that you reach out. You need to find someone to explore your feelings with who is supportive, non-judgmental and trustworthy.

The only way to release feelings is by sharing them with someone who will completely accept them.

Of course, this can be a frightening prospect if you have a backlog of unresolved childhood feelings. Many people avoid these by telling themselves that they can sort things out by themselves, that they don’t need ‘help’ or that it is best not to ‘dwell on things’. Many people, especially men, believe that it is a sign of weakness to talk about feelings or to seek help with them if they are struggling. Nothing could be further from the truth; it takes remarkable courage to reveal your vulnerability to another human being. Here are some common signs that we are having problems managing our feelings:

• Chronic or recurrent depression, anxiety, irritability, rage, guilt, shame or loneliness

• Chronic feelings of low self-worth, feeling somehow ‘different’ or separate from others

• Painful or destructive relationships with our partner, family, friends and/or colleagues

• We have a child who is is very withdrawn, angry or who’s behaviour is out of control

• Avoidance of social interaction, close friendships or sexual relationships

• Addiction to alcohol, drugs, smoking, shopping, sex, work, food, gambling, computers etc

• Eating disorders and self harming

• Suicidal thoughts or attempts (past or present)

• Criminal, ‘insane’ or other destructive behaviour

If you suffer anything on the above list, then it would be a great benefit to you and the people around you if you found support. Most of the time we don’t even notice how estranged we are from our feelings, we just wonder why our life seems so empty or chaotic. Sooner or later, whatever we find too painful or difficult to deal with will have a detrimental effect on our relationship to ourselves and others. And whatever unresolved feelings we have been carrying with us from childhood will continue to follow us around until we choose to heal.

Reach out to at least one other human being who is able to offer support and guidance.

Start befriending your feelings by:

• Talking honestly with a close friend or relative about how you are feeling today. This can help get the ball rolling in the right direction. However, we usually also need someone who is experienced and impartial to guide us through this challenging process.

• Finding a counsellor or therapist you like and trust. Both are widely available privately and through various organisations. You may even be able to get one through your employer, academic establishment or the NHS (if you are persistent!)

• Joining a 12 Step group or other appropriate self help group. Sharing your feelings in a (healthy) group of non-judgemental peers is a powerful healing experience. Codependents Anonymous is specifically for improving our relationships to ourselves and others. In a healthy 12 Step meeting, people work the steps in sponsorship and follow the traditions.

Wherever you choose to go, make sure the support offered helps you to lessen your fear and shame. Sharing with safe and accepting people will enable you to begin to explore your deepest feelings and will help you to discover a new freedom to be yourself. Remember there are no quick fixes, it takes commitment and perseverance to change. Good luck!

Freya’s Astro Advice

MAY 2010

An intuitive reading for each sign of the Zodiac…

The aim of my work is to offer guidance and support to those who are embarking on a journey of self discovery and personal transformation.

ARIES

Judgement, Lace Agate, Spirit Guide

This month you need to make a big decision. You are aware that this decision has far reaching consequences and this may put you off facing up to it. However, if you allow honesty, integrity and responsibility be your guiding lights in this matter, you can’t go wrong. Resist the temptation to stick your head in the sand. Spirit is there ready to offer guidance and support, you only need to ask.

TAURUS

2 Vesicas, Snowflake Obsidian, Community

There is a need to balance two aspects within yourself or your life. You may find your feelings and thoughts vacillating between two extremes. Normally I would suggest you ‘go within’ to seek inner balance but this will only lead to further confusion. It is time to look for an external balancing point. Focus your attention on positive social events or situations that involve friends and/or family.

GEMINI

Justice, Amethyst, Water

You are having strong feelings about something that you believe to be unjust. You may be tempted to take matters into your own hands but this would not be a good idea because you are too caught up in your emotions. Even if you have a valid point, you may well end up regretting any action you take. Wait for feelings to calm down and reassure yourself with a faith in the natural law of Karma.

CANCER

King of Staffs, Smoky Quartz, Openness

An opportunity to discover your innate strength or ability is presenting itself to you. Strive forward with confidence and be willing to take calculated risks. Balance your naturally cautious approach with an openness toward others to ensure that you can move forward. You will find it much easier to progress when you trust your ability to notice negative influences and protect yourself from them.

LEO

3 Swords, Mookaite, Reflection

Something important is coming to an end and this is causing you a certain amount of upset. Once you have grieved what is lost, spend time reflecting on what other juicy options are open to you. Sometimes a door has to close before we will even consider opening a new one. This is such an occasion! So Leo, put any dramatic doldrums to one side and look for the door to a new adventure.

VIRGO

Knight of Vesicas, Garnet, Birth

Your passion for something or someone is giving you the energy to birth a new phase in your life. This is a wonderful development that will enable you to let go of past disappointments. To make the most of this important birthing phase, it is important that you ground your energy. The Knight of Vesicas shows the best way the way to do this is to focus on practical tasks that need attending to.

LIBRA

The Devil, Malachite, Earth

The Devil points to a strong desire to seek solace in a familiar destructive habit or addiction. This is a golden opportunity to show what you are made of and to ‘do things differently’. Rather than slide down the path of least resistance, look for solutions that will make you feel more stable and strong. You will feel much better once you decide to focus your energy on developing healthy new habits.

SCORPIO

3 Vesicas, Red Jasper, Challenge

You understand life has its natural cycles. However, it does seem that you are finding a particular project hard to commit to because things feel stuck. When progress is blocked, there is usually good reason for it. What is the higher purpose of this block? Are you in need of a rest or a change of direction? Trust that things will unfold in their own time and that your questions will be answered.

SAGGITARIUS

Knight of Staffs, Rhodonite, Reflection

There are some positive changes in your life, however, you are more inclined to feel reflective than energised or excited. If you are not entirely sure about things then check if you are on track. Look at those you are involved with and ask yourself if you are feeling truly valued and appreciated. If you can say yes, then open your heart and let the love flow! If not, then it is time to seek pastures new…

CAPRICORN

High Priestess, Rhodochrosite, Creativity

The High Priestess card has appeared three months in a row. What are the chances of that?! Your intuition is trying to tell you something important that you haven’t yet worked out. The message is regarding a child you know or your inner child. Get creative and find out what this message is. The child will open up to you when you use creative expression such as painting, dancing, or writing.

AQUARIUS

The Emperor, Garnet, Water

Part of you needs to feel calm and stable while another part of you wants to get carried away with a passion. Both of these feelings need expression this month – you cannot forgo one for the other. So, focus on creating stability in one area of your life while infusing another with energy and passion. Allow your feelings to help you decide which strategy to apply to the different areas of your life.

PISCES

Strength, Smoky Quartz, Love

Somewhere inside you are gathering strength. Perhaps you are beginning to discover new sources of love in your life that you didn’t know existed and this is making you feel more able to deal with the less than positive influences that need to be faced. The point is, you really are not alone Pisces and when you accept this you will find life’s challenges much easier to handle. Look for the love!

Psyche in the City – How do we know when it is time to ‘give up’?

‘Without genuine passion for what we are doing we soon find ourselves stuck in the mud of our inner dissatisfaction.’ Freya ♥

We are taught that if we try hard enough, we can make things happen. If we want success then we can have it, just as long as we are willing to work hard and put ourselves out there. If someone is not successful, then it is usually believed to be because they haven’t been determined enough. So, when doors are refusing to open for us – should we simply keep on pushing?

During any battle, a variety of tactics can be employed. Sometimes it is appropriate to push ahead and other times it is better to hold your fire and wait. Stake outs, offensives and tactical withdrawals are all important battle strategies that can be utilised at different times. Like in battle, sometimes we proceed down a particular path in life only to discover that something stands in our way and won’t let us pass.

While we are openly encouraged to be proactive when dealing with such obstacles, we are very rarely encouraged to strategically withdraw. When we consider pulling out of a situation we often feel guilt, shame and fear. We feel guilty because choosing to stop trying might mean we are lazy good for nothings. We feel shame because if we have to stop, it might mean we have done something wrong or made a terrible mistake. And we feel afraid because if we decide to get off the merry go around, we may blow our chances forever.

By being proactive and pushing at the right time we can achieve great things. However, forging ahead at the wrong time can cause serious problems. The Titanic sank because she was charged forward at full throttle through dangerous waters. To forge ahead in this manner is clearly not always a good idea. Being able to slow down or withdraw from a particular path is an important strategy in life. Sometimes we need a break. Sometimes we have lost direction and need to figure out what to do next. Other times we may realise that we have been banging our heads on a brick wall and really need to give up.

Unfortunately we often fear the idea of ‘giving up’ because we see withdrawal as a sign of weakness. Actually, having the ability to pull back or walk away is a sign of strength of character and a deep faith. To walk away from a job that everyone else thinks is great because of the prestige or high salary because you know it is not the right path for you is a sign of courage and personal conviction. In order to become a true path walker we need to learn to listen to our hearts and be willing to walk ‘the road less traveled’. If this involves a U turn or a complete withdrawal, then so be it.

If you feel you have hit a road block or a door won’t open for you then it is time to ask yourself: ‘Is this what I really want?’ If you have a strong desire to stop and the only reason you haven’t is because the ‘what ifs’ are scaring you silly, then the chances are that stopping is is the very thing you need to do. It is important that you take some much needed time out to explore your fears and investigate your options. If you feel you need some support in completing this process, then you may find life coaching helpful or you could try talking it over with an objective friend.

When you can put your hand on your heart and say ‘this is what I truly want’, then you can be sure you are heading in the right direction. If this is the case, the chances are you are being challenged to let go of control and develop more patience and trust. If you have done all that you can, pull back and allow the Universe to work its magic and other people to catch up. If one particular door stubbornly remains closed, decide to leave it be and start exploring other options. Often a door will open the minute you stop trying, and even if it does remain closed, you will be well on the way to finding a new solution.

If you are sitting there feeling confused or undecided about whether this is what you really want, then ask yourself: ‘How passionately do I feel about this?’ If you feel little or no passion, the chances are the reasons you want to continue on this path are not in alignment with your heart. Perhaps you are seeking to fit in or to make other people happy. Perhaps you believe that making good money will grant you happiness or freedom regardless of what you have to do to earn it. While you may feel motivated at first, without genuine passion we soon find ourselves stuck in the mud of our inner dissatisfaction.

Whenever you hit a stubborn block in the road, you can be sure that life has an important message for you. If your efforts to push past it come to no avail, then it is time to tactically withdraw your energy and re-assess the situation. Should you discover that you lack desire or passion for this particular path – then it may well be time to give up altogether and go in search of fresh new pastures. After all, if we are not fighting for what we really want, then what are we really fighting for?

Tarot @ The Thali

Tarot @ The Thali

Saturday 15th May 2010

12-5pm

@ The Thali Café, St Mark’s Rd, EASTON, Bristol

£5 off all advanced bookings

Readings are still only £20 for 30mins, £30 for an hour at the Thali!

£10 tasters available on the day.

To book please email me: tarot@freyaeostre.com

Forum up and running!

The website forum is now up and running, thanks to Bobbu : )

To start or join in on any discussions about Psyche articles or my book Manifesting Mr Wonderful, click on the Forum page on right hand side of this page. I look forward to your comments and questions! Freya x