Freya Eostre

Inspiration for Today

‘Tell a friend, relative or lover what you appreciate about them. Letting people we care about know that we appreciate them really increases the ‘feel good’ factor in your relationships. If you want to get really loved up, write a list of all the important people in your life. Look at each one in turn and write down 1-5 things you really appreciate about them. Then share your appreciation with everyone on your list and watch the love grow!

Freya x

Today’s Affirmation

‘I share my appreciation with those I care about.’

Psyche in the City – How responsible are we for other people’s feelings?

‘In a healthy relationship the needs, feelings and desires of each individual are given equal importance.’ Freya ♥

When someone gets upset with us about something we have, or have not done, it is easy to end up feeling bad about ourselves. While there are people who don’t seem to care about what others think, many of us worry incessantly about treading on others toes or getting a bad reaction. So, just how responsible are we for other people’s feelings?

Until relatively recently, people were expected to conform to the values of the community they were born into, including the smaller community of their family. Everyone was expected to do as they were told and to put duty to others above duty to the self. Even the most intimate of personal decisions such as choosing a sexual partner, needed to be sanctioned by an authority figure. If an individual rebelled against this authority, the price was likely to be rejection, exile, imprisonment or even death.

Many countries across the world still maintain a traditional social structure which is why we continue to hear about stonings for adultery, ‘honour’ killings for disgracing the family and state executions for crimes against God. What is often forgotten is that our lives were governed in much the same way until the relatively recent collective rebellion of the 1960s and 70s. Out of this period of liberation a new ‘individualistic‘ social order was created.

Unfortunately, just because we are legally free to make our own choices doesn’t mean that others won’t try to control or manipulate us into doing what they want, especially if they hold power or authority over us. Violence is no longer considered an acceptable method of control so people are increasingly likely to revert to more subtle or covert tactics which can be difficult to spot and even harder to challenge.

One of the most powerful ways to control another person is to make them feel bad about themselves.

When a person or group attempts to use bad feelings to gain control or influence over someone, they are using emotional manipulation. Here are some examples:

• shaming; (shouting, verbal attacks, name calling, criticising, humiliation, bullying)

• guilt tripping; (acting hurt, sulking, emotionally withdrawing or blaming)

• emotional blackmail; (threatening to leave, to reject someone or to withdraw love, money or affection)

• undermining; (sabotaging, deceiving, scapegoating)

Whenever someone tries to control or manipulate another person, they are attempting to make the victim responsible for their own feelings, needs or desires. Rather than taking care of themselves, they are hoping they can coerce the other person into taking care of them. Of course just because we are feeling bad or someone else is expressing hurt feelings doesn’t automatically mean we are being emotionally manipulated but if we feel excessively guilty or self doubting it is worth checking out what is really going on.

If you are feeling bad about someone’s reaction to you it can be helpful to step back from the situation in order to gain better perspective. The first question to ask yourself is; ‘have I transgressed one of my own morals or values?’ If you feel bad because you have done (or not done) something you feel unhappy about in yourself, then make changes for your own sake. It is very difficult to feel good about yourself when you are not living life in accordance with your own values and it also makes it much easier for a manipulative person to find a way to undermine you.

If you think you are only feeling bad because of the other person then ask yourself; ‘do they have a personal agenda that they are attempting to get me to fit into?’ Examples of this would be they want you to change your decision, thoughts, behaviour, or feelings in a way that will suit them better. If you think this may be the case, then ask yourself; ‘would this change require me to put my own needs, feelings or desires to one side in order to make them feel better?’

If someone is trying to get you to negate your own needs, feelings, or desires in order to take care of theirs, whether they are aware of it or not, they are emotionally abusing you. No one has the right to expect you to put their needs above your own. In healthy relationships the needs, feelings and desires of each individual are given equal importance. Sometimes a compromise may need to be found, but if you come to the conclusion that you are being emotionally manipulated then it is time to stand up for yourself and what is important to you.

Many people have been conditioned to sublimate their own needs, feelings and desires in order to ‘fit in’ with those of their care givers. They grow up believing that they can avoid further feelings of guilt, shame, self doubt or fear by conceding to the wishes of others. What they don’t realise is that the bad feelings cannot be avoided by acquiescing because the manipulator needs to continue inflicting pain in order to maintain control of the relationship: As long as you agree to emotional manipulation, you will continue to feel bad.

It can be very scary to consider breaking free from the clutches of an emotional manipulator. Should we decide to stand up for ourselves, we often fear what they will do or say next. This is for good reason, as it is pretty normal for a manipulator to escalate their efforts in an attempt to regain control. (If you have any concerns that refusing to play someone else’s game will lead them hurting themselves, you, or anyone else, please be sure to seek professional support and advice before making any changes.)

The painful feelings the manipulator throws at you will only stick if you chose to take them on board. You can at any point chose to stop buying into the myth that it is your responsibility to make them feel better and that if you do it their way, somehow you will end up feeling better. If you really want to be free of those feelings of guilt, shame, fear and self doubt, then let go of the belief that you can ever make yourself happy through submitting to another person’s agenda. True happiness comes from living life in accordance with our own values, needs, and desires and allowing others to do the same.

Freya’s Astro Advice

An intuitive reading for each sign of the zodiac…

July 2010

ARIES

5 Swords, Garnet, Choice

This month you are faced with a choice. You can either push ahead with something that you really want to work or you can choose to accept things the way things are and let it go. To decide what is best, put all urgent feelings aside. Once you are feeling calm and centred ask yourself do you really want this? If you have any doubts at all, then it is time to it let go. No doubts? Then stick at it!

TAURUS

Temperance, Jasper, Openness

You are faced with a new situation or emotional state and although you are keen to get involved you are also feeling a little cautious. You can create a balanced approach by remaining open to new experiences while keeping your feet planted firmly on the earth. If you do start to wobble you can ground yourself by going for a walk or gardening. Go ahead and dip your toe in the water!

GEMINI

9 Vesicas, Moonstone, Simplicity

Letting go of old habits or emotional patterns continues to be the theme this month. Lasting change isn’t achieved overnight, you have to nurture the inner garden over time a period of time. It is important that you are patient with yourself while you go through this process and that you take steps to simplify things: Take care of your basic needs for sleep, healthy eating and relaxation.

CANCER

Maid of Cups, Pietersite, Direction

You are well aware that your ‘cup’ needs filling up. Maybe you have already made a decision about how to change things but Pietersite is asking you an important question: ‘Are things like to improve if you follow this path?’ The situation is actually a lot more fluid and likely to change than you realise. Keep decisions loose and take into account the possibility that things may shift over time.

LEO

8 Vesicas, Charoite, New Beginnings

You are starting to build a stronger inner foundation from which to live the exciting drama of your life. This foundation will enable you to begin a whole new chapter and to create the dream life you have always wanted. To make this foundation strong you need to be patient and put lots of work into it. Trust your instincts to guide you along the way and become open to the results you hope for.

VIRGO

6 Swords, Amazonite, Opposition

At the moment you are torn between trying to accept a certain situation and speaking your mind. The way you look at things counts for a lot and much can be altered by a change of perspective. Rather than suppressing what you think you want to say, maybe the answer is to detach from the situation and seek a new perspective on the situation that will enable you to experience acceptance.

LIBRA

3 Vesicas, Mookaite, Challenge

Things are feeling blocked around work, creativity, or a project. There is a challenge that is crossing your path and you are not sure how to deal with it. Typically indecision can be an issue for Librans as you seek harmony and a ‘stress free’ life. Rather than swinging from one extreme to the other in your mind, seek at least three possible options and go for the one that seems the most balanced.

SCORPIO

4 Cups, Turquoise, Change

You really want things to change. Your mind is opening to new ideas and you are becoming aware of a much bigger picture than you could see before. This wonderful ‘opening up’ process is long over due fills you with a renewed enthusiasm for life. To help you adjust to all these exciting changes it is important to reach out and ask for support from people you now know you can trust.

SAGGITARIUS

6 Cups, Fluorite, Letting Go

Either you or another person is digging their heals in. There is nothing wrong with decisiveness as such but in this instance it is either premature or perhaps based on a fearful reaction to something. Regardless of who is behaving this way, it is time to ‘let it go’ and invite to a Higher Power to sort things out. In the end the relationship is far more important to you than the stand that is being taken.

CAPRICORN

Maid of Swords, Aventurine, Stability

You are beginning to rebel against a situation you no longer find tenable. You take your duties very seriously so it takes a lot for you to snap, but this time enough really is enough. When you finally stand up for yourself by saying ‘no’ to someone or something you will be surprised to discover those pent up emotions are quickly released and you can re-establish some calm and stability in your life.

AQUARIUS

Ace of Vesicas, Smoky Quartz, Gentleness

You are creating a new foundation in your life. While you are doing this it is important to become discerning about who and what you allow into your space. Any negative influences, whether internal or external, must be gently extricated before they get a chance to take hold. When making decisions, start as you mean to continue and seek to create the correct environment for your growth.

PISCES

Ace of Staffs, Ruby, Commitment

Finally you have found a magic wand! Well, you have at least re-gained some much needed enthusiasm. Something has (or is about to) enter your life that you are going to want to put a lot of energy into. That will make a nice change won’t it!? You will know when it comes because of your excitement. Grab this opportunity with both hands, it will surely give back whatever you put in.

Inspiration for Today

‘Before you go to bed write a list of all the good things that happened to you today. Keeping a ‘gratitude diary’ is a really good way to lift your spirits and focus on the positives in your life. Getting into the practice of noticing what makes you feel good will help you manifest more of what you want.’

Freya x

Inspiration for Today

‘Contact an old friend to catch up or arrange a visit. Is there someone you haven’t talked to for ages or you only ever get around to sending a Christmas card to? Why not take the time to give them a call or send them a ‘snail mail’ letter? People always love to hear from old friends and it feels wonderful to surprise someone you care about.’

Freya x

Freya’s Affirmations

Each new affirmation will come up first as ‘Today’s Affirmation’. When it is replaced, it will be added to this post. You can work with the affirmation of the day or choose one from the growing list below. To get the maximum benefit from the affirmation, it is important to repeat it as many times as you can remember during the course of the day. There is an article on how to use affirmations now on the website, which is an excerpt from my book Manifesting Mr Wonderful. Check it under ‘Free Book Excerpts’ tab. Good luck, and remember it works if you work it!

* * *

‘I acknowledge all that is good in my life.’

* * *

‘I keep in contact with those I care about.’

* * *

‘I release all clutter and create a clear space.’

* * *

‘I acknowledge all the blessings in my life.’

* * *

‘I trust that everything will work out for the best.’

* * *

‘I detach as I observe the behaviour of others.’

* * *

‘I am open to the abundance of the Universe!’

* * *

‘I focus positive energy on manifesting my desires.’

* * *

‘I follow the guidance I receive through my intuition.’

* * *

‘I am financially independent and prosperous.’

* * *

‘I am in the flow of synchronicity.’

* * *

‘I manifest prosperity through my life’s purpose.

* * *

‘I manifest joy and abundance by following my path.’

* * *

‘I nurture routines and habits that serve me well.’

* * *

‘I stay with the process and trust.’

* * *

‘I clear negative influences from my space.’

* * *

‘I trust my instincts to guide me.’

* * *

‘I focus attention on strengthening my core self.’

* * *

‘I let go of control and trust my Higher Power.’

* * *

‘I explore all options before making a decision.’

* * *

‘I am open to the wonder of each new day.’

* * *

‘I give myself the time I need to achieve my goals.’

* * *

‘I co-create the reality of my choosing.’

* * *

‘I create space for a new beginning.’

* * *

‘I let myself off the hook.’

* * *

‘I value who I am and what I have to offer.’

* * *

‘I am open to a new solution.’

* * *

‘I allow my feelings to process.’

* * *

‘I accept who I am.’

* * *

‘I pay attention to my dreams.’

* * *

‘I manifest joy and abundance.’

* * *

‘I create wealth in my life.’

* * *

‘I lend a hand to those in need of support.’

* * *

‘I look for the positive in every situation.’

* * *

‘I pay attention to what I am feeling.’

* * *

‘I trust my Higher Power to support me.’

* * *

‘I seek work that brings me fulfillment.’

* * *

‘I acknowledge that I am a unique being.’

* * *

‘I accept my personal limitations with grace.’

* * *

‘I aim to be the best I can be.’

* * *

‘I create quality time for rest and relaxation.’

* * *

‘I am willing to release that which no longer serves me.’

* * *

‘I give thanks for all the blessings in my life.’

* * *

‘I focus energy on achieving my goals.’

* * *

‘I reflect on how far I have already come.’

* * *

‘I choose to step out of my comfort zone.’

* * *

‘I surrender to life’s adventures.’

* * *

‘I live my potential by using my talents and skills.’

* * *

‘I look ahead and create new possibilities.’

* * *

‘I love and respect all aspects of myself.’

* * *

‘I learn to develop patience and trust.’

* * *

‘I feel happy and complete in myself.’

* * *

‘I live in accordance with my Life Purpose.’

* * *

‘I adapt to changes in my life.’

* * *

‘I notice the positive qualities in people.’

* * *

‘I look ahead and consider the bigger picture.’

* * *

‘I am honest when expressing my feelings.’

* * *

‘I take the high road in all that I do.’

* * *

‘I open the door to life’s opportunities.’

* * *

‘I help the Universe provide by clarifying my goals.’

* * *

‘I courageously face my fears.’

* * *

‘I release control and flow with life.’

* * *

‘I handle whatever comes up.’

* * *

‘I am willing to make amends.’

* * *

‘I pay attention to signs along the way.’

* * *

‘I open to life’s surprises.’

* * *

‘I go with the flow of life.’

* * *

‘I invite work that utilises my talents.’

* * *

‘I take steps to build a solid foundation.’

* * *

‘I look for opportunities in unexpected places.’

* * *

‘I am open to the path that unfolds before me.’

* * *

‘I seek the wisdom that lies within.’

* * *

‘I challenge any beliefs that hold me back.’

* * *

‘I courageously stand up for myself.’

* * *

‘I trust the Universe will provide all I need.’

* * *

‘I manifest an abundance of wealth.’

* * *

‘I appreciate all the beauty in the world.’

* * *

“I gracefully release the past.”

* * *

‘I take responsibility for part in situations.’

* * *

‘I let go of attachment to the outcome.’

* * *

‘I protect my personal boundaries.’

* * *

‘I expect to receive respect from others.’

* * *

‘I am free to be me!’

* * *

‘I am open to what life has to offer.’

* * *

‘I create space for new beginnings.’

* * *

‘I value all that I have to contribute.’

* * *

‘I approach problems with gentleness.’

* * *

‘I am lovable and loved.’

* * *

How to use Affirmations

An excerpt from Manifesting Mr Wonderful by Freya Eostre © 2008

What is an affirmation?

An affirmation is a short phrase which ‘affirms’ something for you.

♥ Affirmations affect your subconscious thoughts and feelings and will also act like a ‘prayer’ because the message is an energy vibration that reverberates into the Universe.

We are constantly giving ourselves ‘messages’ about our beliefs. These internal messages have a huge energetic impact, especially if there are strong feelings attached to them. If we give ourselves negative

messages, whether said out-loud or in our head, we vibrate negatively. Therefore, how we ‘self talk’ has a profound impact on the quality of our life and our experiences. If we are prone to negative ‘self talk’ we can gradually change by using positive affirmations. It is because affirmations are so effective at raising your vibration (by changing the way you think and feel) that they form an integral part in the practice.

You can also use affirmations to attract what you want into your life. What you say will come true if you feel it strongly enough. Our self-talk has a strong energetic vibration because we are co-creators, so our messages will be energetically attracting things to us, for good or ill. Everything is energy; like attracts like; thoughts and emotions are powerful energy vibrations. So if we say what we want and keep affirming it with strong emotions then what we want will naturally be attracted to us. You can literally will something into being by thinking about it because your thoughts and the feelings attached to them are energy vibrations which attract manifestations.

♥ When you use affirmations you are telling the Universe what you expect and so it will be manifested.

Creating effective affirmations

Affirmations are relatively easy to create but there is an art to making them effective. When you use an affirmation you are saying ‘yes please’ to the Universe, therefore it is important to make sure that you

are saying ‘yes please’ to what you really want. The most effective affirmations are positive, clear, have a strong emotional resonance with you and are worded in the present tense:

• To attract positively, we must send out positive energy so it is vital that you are asking for what you do want rather than what you don’t want and that you ask it in a positive manner. Affirmations should

be stated in the positive; ‘I want a loving man’ instead of ‘I want a man who isn’t a womaniser or a cheat’. Also, make sure there aren’t any subtle negative feelings hidden in what you say; ‘I want a man

who will get around to asking me out’ should read something like ‘I am ready to be asked out’. The first affirmation sounds like you don’t expect to be asked out, the second sounds like you believe

being asked out is a given, now that you are ready.

• An affirmation needs to be clear and simple so that the Universe knows exactly what you are asking for. Try and keep it short and precise: ‘I am ready for love’ or ‘I invite Mr Wonderful into my life’

rather than ‘I have an open heart so I can attract and receive a loving, caring, sexy man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me and give me children’. In trying to keep it precise I came up with the

name ‘Mr Wonderful’ because to me the term means a man who can fulfill my desires. It is a term which encapsulates what I want. You can come up with a different name or way to convey what you want but keep it simple rather than writing a long wordy affirmation.

• If an affirmation has little emotional resonance for you then it will not be as powerful because your feelings have the biggest impact on the energy vibrations you send out. This means if you use other

people’s affirmations – make sure they really speak to you. You can make adjustments to someone else’s affirmations if you would prefer not to start from scratch. I would suggest, however, that you

try to come up with something for yourself. An affirmation you have come up with is more likely to have emotional resonance and the process of finding a good affirmation will further help you clarify

what you want. Also, when you come up with a good one it is exciting, which will add emotional potency to your affirmation.

• Affirmations need to be worded in the present. Ultimately tomorrow never comes, so stating affirmations in the future tense instantly puts them out of reach. State your affirmation as if it is already true by wording it in the present tense. The Universe will then work to bring it to you today. The more you ‘act as if’ you already have what you want, that you are where you want to be, the more powerful your manifesting energy will be. You are not requesting it, you are stating that ‘it is already so’. Not only does this demonstrate incredible faith and self belief (which creates a positivity that is hard to beat) but the Universe has to bring into being what is: By stating ‘what is’ before it exists, you create a vacuum which the Universe must fill.

• Although you can word your affirmations as desires or wants, I believe that it is more powerful to show that you expect to receive something rather than you are hoping it will arrive. The words ‘I

want’ have negative connotations for many of us which can get in the way of manifesting. Many people, especially in Britain, grew up hearing things like ‘I want doesn’t get’ and were told not to say ‘I

want’ when they asked for something. Apparently stating what you want is seen as selfish and/or rude. Perhaps more importantly, in terms of affirmations, ‘wanting’ is what we do when we haven’t yet

got something. For some of us it can have a connotation of feeling ‘desperate’. For the purpose of affirmations we want to create the ‘already got it’ vacuum to encourage the Universe to deliver. ‘I

attract…’ or ‘I am ready…’ or ‘I receive…’ or ‘I invite…’ or even, if you are feeling really daring ‘I have…’ or ‘I enjoy…’ (because I already have) are further down the process from wanting and closer

to the experiencing. However, if you usually feel guilty for ‘wanting’ it can also be really affirming to unashamedly state your wants to the world! (Use ‘I want’ or ‘I desire’ for your wish list.) Be

proud of your desires – without them you couldn’t be a co-creator.

To create an affirmation, try to summarise what it is you want. You can go back to your wish list or dream scenario and try to make the picture into a concise statement – almost like a mission statement that will help to focus yourself and the Universe. Play with ideas and allow yourself to be creative.

If you feel you have to go through a few phases to become ready to get what you ultimately want then begin with affirmations that reflect where you need to get to first. For example, if you feel you need to

work on being able to receive positive attention from men then start with that; ‘I am open to positive male attention’ or ‘I enjoy receiving positive male attention’. It is not useful to go for your ultimate goal until you feel ready in yourself because it will be harder to believe in what you are saying and therefore more challenging to feel positive.

Build your relationship confidence gradually starting with the first step not the final destination.

Using affirmations Once you have had a go at developing some affirmations you need to actually use them. While it is valuable to go through the process of creating affirmations – if you don’t get around to using them, they won’t work. An affirmation is different from a wish list. When you create a wish list you say it to the Universe and then let it go. Affirmations, on the other hand, have to be repeated because they are used for aligning your internal vibration with what you are trying to create. You have to ‘work them’ so that they sink into your deeper self and have the chance to transform your emotional energetic vibration.

♥ Affirmations are about changing how you feel inside and aligning your energy with what you want to manifest.

If you know on a deep level that you deserve love and state that you are already enjoying a loving relationship, then the Universe has no choice but to deliver it to you in order to fill the vacuum. To make this shift you have to repeat affirmations regularly. You are self-talking all day long so you need to get a conscious word in edge ways. If you don’t say it regularly then your message will simply get lost in all the other inner babble.

♥ The key to using affirmations is to repeat them regularly.

• Whenever you say an affirmation, repeat it several times

• Say it out-loud and/or in front of a mirror for added potency

• Write your affirmations down

• Post them around your home as reminders

• Only work with one (or two) affirmations at a time

• Work with each affirmation for at least one week

• Repeat your affirmation several times during the day

• Having a routine can help you remember to say your affirmations

• You can use an alarm to remind you the next time to repeat them

• Say it whenever you remember during the day – even if you only have time to say it once or twice

• For maximum benefit first connect with Source, then say your affirmation from this powerful feeling state

If you find it hard to feel anything about an affirmation it is worth playing around with it until it sounds just right to you. Sometimes when we have a wall of negativity or doubt standing between us and what we want it can be hard to get excited about an affirmation. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t worry – just ‘act as if’ you believe in it for the time being. This will give you a chance to get started and the messages will get through – though they may take a little longer. Here are some affirmations you can use and/or adapt:

♥ ‘I enjoy a loving relationship with Mr Wonderful’

♥ ‘I attract a wonderful man into my life’

♥ ‘I am open to receiving love’

♥ ‘I am a beacon of light guiding my beloved home’

♥ ‘I invite Mr Wonderful to ask me out’

♥ ‘I experience the joy of being truly loved’

♥ ‘I experience the bliss of being united with my soulmate’

While you are traveling on this journey if you stumble across an inner block or negative belief that is hard to shift, use affirmations. You can add new ones to your (daily) practice that are pertinent to you.

Affirmations work when you work them!

Psyche in the City – ‘What can we do to enable us to reach our goals?’

‘Ultimately all that really counts when striving to reach our goals is what we choose to believe about ourselves.’ Freya ♥

As we grow up we are often told that if we believe in ourselves enough, we can make any dream come true. Society’s liberating message has been amplified by a recent spate of ‘ordinary’ individuals being catapulted into instant fame and success through participation on TV reality shows. So, if it is really that easy, why do so many of us struggle to create the wonderful lives we feel entitled to?

Many people are negatively affected by personal circumstances at some point in their life – we can feel held back by poverty, education, gender, sexuality, childcare, the economy, illness or disability etc. Yet when you look around there will always be individuals who have somehow managed to overcome these obstacles and achieve their goals. For those of us who still struggle, this begs the question if they can do it then why can’t I?

If we look closely enough, we will often discover that the biggest obstacle to reaching our goals lies within. Internal barriers are far more effective at restricting us than even the most unfortunate circumstances. This is because we are usually completely unaware that the barrier is there, and even when we know about it, we are rarely taught how to overcome them. Circumstances often get all the blame simply because we don’t know how to identify or deal with the inner barriers that hold us back.

Once we decide to face any internal barriers head on, we become empowered to do something about our situation. While we can’t always change the circumstances around us, we usually can change what goes on in our heads. It’s not always easy, but it is definitely possible. Whatever your circumstances may be, if you are feeling stuck it is always worth taking a deeper look.

Goals are meant to stretch us, which is why we feel proud when we achieve what we have set out to do. If there was no challenge involved then it wouldn’t be a goal – you’d simply go out and do it without further ado. In order to meet the challenges that any worthy goal presents, we need a strong inner foundation. When we don’t have that foundation, we are more likely to stumble along the way and if we feel stuck we are much more likely to jump to the conclusion that the goal is out of our reach.

The motivation required to keep us going comes directly from two things – our self worth; (the belief that who we are and what we have to contribute is valuable) and our self confidence; (the belief that we have the skills required and the ability to handle things). Even when other people are raving about how wonderful they think we are, it is still possible to harbour a devastating sense of self doubt. If we are trying to convince ourselves that we ‘just need one more qualification’ or we compare ourselves harshly to some external standard, you can be sure that it is self doubt holding us back.

The belief that we are some how ‘not good enough’ stems from early conditioning. Thankfully, once we have reached adulthood, we have the power to change the script. No matter what people seem to think of us, ultimately all that really counts is what we choose to believe about ourselves. Should we discover we don’t think very much of ourselves or our abilities, then it is up to us to do something about it because no one else can change our mind for us.

Chronic self doubt is a deeply ingrained ‘mental habit’ that can be rectified by consciously changing the messages we feed our minds. Self worth and confidence are both extremely vulnerable to the messages or feelings we habitually indulge in. Our task is to take responsibility for these messages and to commit to replacing negative self talk with positive affirmations. To combat chronic self doubt we need to become conscious of all the negative beliefs that serve to undermine us. Then we can slowly start to replace each one with something that makes us feel good about ourselves.

The main difficulty arises when the habitual thought or feeling is so deeply ingrained that we just can’t accept that it isn’t based on ‘the truth’. The best thing to do in this situation is ask yourself if you want to believe in this negative thought or feeling or would you prefer to believe in something more life affirming? If we can at least accept that there is a possibility that our negativity doesn’t represent ‘the truth’, then we can get on with nurturing our brain with new messages that we do want to believe in.

How we view ourselves is always a choice, though for those who have been wounded in childhood it often doesn’t seem that way. As children we have no way of separating ourselves from external influences, so we take things on board without discrimination. It can take a huge leap of faith to believe that we can learn how to feel better about ourselves. Yet, if we take this leap of faith and keep practicing our new behaviours, one day we will wake up and discover the joys of unshakable self belief.

Freya ♥

If you would like support in transforming the way you view yourself and your capabilities, life coaching can be a very helpful tool. I offer telephone coaching for individuals committed to the journey of self discovery and personal development. Please email to arrange your free consultation and discover how transformational coaching could benefit you:

info@freyaeostre.com

Land-line number available for coaching sessions

Face-to-face coaching also available in Chard, Somerset

Prices: £160 for 4x 1hr sessions

Shamanic Journey Introduction

Introductory Session

(Kingsdown, Bristol)

Saturday 17th July 2010

11.30am – 1.30pm

£15 (non- refundable)

All places need to be booked and paid for in advance, There are limited spaces.

To book your place please email me: intro@freyaeostre.com

For further information please check the page; ‘Shamanic Journeys and Readings’.